Though this article focuses on losing a spouse, I think the information applies to adult children losing a parent as well. Bottom line from the research being reported on in this article is that it can take two or three years to recover from bereavement. In our local support group, this is what we’ve generally seen as well.
This recent New York Times article addresses new research that calls into question the notion that “after a brief period of sometimes intense bereavement, the vast majority of surviving spouses adjust well, returning to their previous work, daily routines and prior state of contentment within a few months to a year – a psychological outcome referred to as resilience.”
The new research suggests: “Scratch the surface and you’re likely to find that the surviving spouse who seems happy and well adjusted may have considerable difficulties that are not apparent to a casual observer. … [It] can take two to three years or even longer for some to recover from bereavement [and return] to their pre-loss levels of functioning.”
Two Arizona-based psychologists used data gathered over 13 years in Australia. During the 13-year study, 421 participants lost a spouse. As the article notes, “Of the entire group, only 8 percent of the bereaved individuals were in good shape for all five indicators of resilience studied, while 20 percent were not resilient in any of them.”
The psychologists “described three factors that influenced overall resilience:
1) Reliable comfort – having someone to confide in or lean on in times of trouble, and being able to get help from other people when needed;
2) Social connectedness – whether their physical health or emotional problems interfered with social activities like visiting friends and relatives and interacting socially with neighbors or groups, and
3) Daily functioning – having difficulties with their normal activities because of emotional problems like depression or anxiety.”
The researcher found that what helped the bereaved spouses the most “was remaining socially connected and engaged in the usual activities of everyday life and knowing where they could turn for help and comfort and receiving support when they needed it.”
Here’s a link to the NYT article:
www.nytimes.com/2016/09/27/well/family/when-a-spouse-dies-resilience-can-be-uneven.html
Personal Health
When a Spouse Dies, Resilience Can Be Uneven
New York Times
By Jane E. Brody
Sept. 26, 2016
Robin