At one of our recent local Lewy body dementia caregiver support group meetings, a caregiver said that she felt as though she had “run out of gas.” A few days later, I ran across this story/poem on a Facebook group for Parkinson’s caregivers.
Lorie R. (from Caregivers’ of Parkinson’s Disease Support Group on Facebook)
Somewhere along the way I got tired.
I got tired of the noise- the constant grunting, groaning and sex sounding noises that are not that.
I got tired of getting something for him and sitting down and then being asked for something else.
I got tired of having to leave every event early.
Never being on time.
I gave up on going to church because he cannot manage to get ready on time no matter how early we get up or how much I helped.
I saw friends visits lessen or stop altogether.
Dealt with sexual addiction, pornography, accusations that were not true.
Fled the house and slept at my job because of accusations.
I’ve been injured trying to pick him up five minutes after I had just gotten him up.
We do not have conversation because I can’t understand him anymore and he gets mad at me for his speech.
Learned to take my supper alone because he won’t come in the house because he is perseverates on whatever he is trying to do that isn’t going good.
Been through many arguements about things that absolutely make no sense.
I used to be positive and supportive.
I want to be but I am just tired
I lost my compassion
I have gotten weary of doing good
I have lost most of him and a good chunk of me.
I still love him but he makes it truly hard to sometimes.
I still believe And pray to God that he will heal him
I am simply tired.