“How Caregiving Changes Us – What Dies, What Grows”

Donna Thomson is a caregiver for her son (with disabilities) and for her mother.  She writes a blog called “The Caregivers’ Living Room.”  I thought this short post from February 2017 on how caregiving has changed her was worth sharing.  She explains what has died in her, and what has grown in her.




How Caregiving Changes Us – What Dies, What Grows
Sunday, 5 February 2017
The Caregivers’ Living Room – A Blog by Donna Thomson

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how we change over time as caregivers – the parts of ourselves that die and the new parts that grow.

What has died in me:
– An assumption that I will have spontaneity in my life
– The idea that life would carry on according to my plans
– The inability to be alone
– Insecurity in my own abilities to do what I put my mind to
– Fear of vulnerability

What has grown in me:
– The sense of being happy without other people to ‘make’ me happy
– Humility in the face of the random nature of what life deals me
– Confidence in my values and in my advocacy skills
– Acceptance of my own limitations in keeping my loved ones healthy and safe
– A growing awareness of my own mortality

What has died in you? What has grown?