One of our local support group members, Marty, sent me information on this blog post today. Within this blog post is a list called Details of the Heart. This list was created by a geriatric care manager, Stacey Gordon, for a client named Ann. Ann used this list in screening potential candidates for a home care aide. Ann needed to hire an aide to help her in the last year of her life. The list addresses what was important to Ann in an aide and caregiving companion — “open communication, sensitivity, fairness and patience.”
“Ann so related to the list of ‘Details of the Heart’ she recited it aloud to potential caregivers to gauge their reaction. Once she hired her caregiver, she revisited the details throughout the caregiving process.”
Many of the nine items on the “Details of the Heart” list are
appropriate for anyone — whether they are hired aides, family
members, or friends — who wants a caring relationship with another person who may have health issues.
I’ve copied the list below from Stacey Gordon’s blog post. I think
that’s the key to the blog post but if you’d like to read the entire
“Details of the Heart”
by Stacey Gordon
Posted: 01/30/2013 6:56 am
1. Please make eye contact with me, and look at me often. Don’t ever make me feel invisible.
2. Please ask me before you touch my body, especially in sensitive places.
3. Please have a tremendous amount of patience with me.
4. Please tell me when you are worried about me, and why. Don’t tell others first.
5. Please help me keep my mind active. Talk to me, read to me, engage me on topics that interest you and ask me about my interests.
6. Please remember that I am an adult, and ask me to choose how to plan my days.
7. Please call me if you will be late, or if you are sick and help me
by calling one of our substitute caregivers. Remember that I cannot be left alone.
8. Please know that I will respect your privacy and I would like you to respect mine.
9. Please know that I thank you for caring for my body and my heart.